Attack of the fangirls
by RemyTheReaper
Summary: CRACKFIC. Thirteen is having an off day, so Cameron has to die. Wilson is on steroids and ring pops cure Huntingtons. Kutner and Chase are in a polygamous cult. Wow.


**A/N: Hi! Okay so this is major crack fic stuff. See me and my friends associate ourselves with characters on the show (don't ask lol) so just for reference, I'm 13, my friend Hannah is Amber, and my friend Sarah is Cameron. Enjoy!**

Thirteen wasn't feeling like herself as she walked into work that morning. For the first time in her life her mind was filled with fairies and rainbows and thoughts of killing Cameron. Luckily for her she carried a gun at all times so she made her way to the ER.

"Sir did you see what kind of gun the man who shot you had?" Cameron asked a man she was treating in the ER with a gunshot wound to his arm. The man thought for a moment, then pointed over Cameron's shoulder.

"It kind of looked like the one she's holding" Cameron turned around to find Thirteen pointing a gun at her head,

"Oh, hi Dr. Hadley. Do you mind if I see your gun for a second?"

"Sure, here" Thirteen handed the gun to the Cameron who inspected it carefully.

"Hmm, sir what did it feel like when the man shot you?" The guy shrugged,

"I dunno, it hurt" Cameron thought for a moment then held the gun up and pointed it at the man,

"Did it feel like this?" she pulled the trigger and shot the man through the heart. He fell backwards onto the bed he was sitting on. Cameron frowned,

"That's weird. Well here's your gun." She handed the gun back to Thirteen, "So why do you have a gun with you anyways?"

"I'm going to kill you" Thirteen said conversationally, reloading the gun and pointing it back at Cameron's head.

"Wait! I need to clock out before you kill me!" Thirteen sighed, lowering the gun once again,

"Fine, but make It fast because I have a lot to do! I mean first I have to go hide your body in a closet, then I have to seduce your boyfriend, I mean really I don't have all day" Cameron clocked out quickly then walked back to where Thirteen was standing,

"Okay, I'm all set. If you want though we can go do this in the janitor's closet, you know so you don't have to drag my body there after." Thirteen thought about it for a moment. It probably would take less time to just shoot Cameron in the closet and leave her there then to drag her body there after she was already dead.

"Okay, yeah lets do that" The two women left the ER and got on the elevator.

"So nice weather we're having" Thirteen said as the elevator slowly rose. Cameron nodded,

"I know, I mean it's not too hot, but not too cold"

"Yeah, it's just warm" Thirteen agreed as they got off the elevator and walked down the hallway and into the janitor's closet.

"Okay well bye" Cameron said as Thirteen shut the door and held the gun to her head.  
"Bye" Thirteen pulled the trigger and Cameron fell to the ground. After shooting her a couple more times to make sure she was really dead Thirteen walked out of the janitors office. As she was walking down the hallway she saw Wilson and Amber, but Wilson was different somehow it was like he was actually hot.

"Wow Wilson you got hot" Thirteen said, staring at him oddly. Wilson nodded,

"I'm on steroids now!" He said with a grin,

"It's great isn't it?" Amber asked. Thirteen nodded. Then Wilson gave her an odd look like the one she had given him.

"I think your feet are bleeding" he said, pointing to her shoes, which were covered in blood. Thirteen frowned,

"Dammit, I told Cameron not to bleed on me! See I shot her in the janitor's closet then I asked her not to bleed on me, then I shot her a few more times"

"Oh, so that's why there's blood oozing out from under the closet door." Thirteen was mad now,  
"Cameron never listens! I told her not to bleed so much it went under the door! God, what's her issue!" Amber and Wilson stared at her for a few minutes because she was being weird, then finally Thirteen said,

"Okay well as awkward as this has been I have to go seduce Chase so I'll see you guys later" she turned and walked back down the hallway, getting into an elevator and riding it down to the first floor. She went to the clinic, where Chase had just finished working.

"Hi Thirteen, your feet are bleeding" he said. Thirteen nodded,

"Yeah I know…so I killed your girlfriend."

"Really?"

"Yup" Chase got a huge smile on his face and fell to his knees,

"I'M FREE!" He shouted throwing his arms open and staring up at the ceiling. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet box.

"Thirteen, will you marry me?" Chase opened the box to reveal a ring pop. Thirteen thought about it for awhile.

"What flavor ring pop is that?"

"Watermelon" Chase said. Thirteen nodded,

"Okay, I'll marry you" She took the ring pop and swallowed it whole. Chase smiled and stood up,

"Yay! Hey you know what's weird about ring pops?" Thirteen shook her head,

"No, what?"

"They cure Huntington's disease" Thirteen smiled,  
"That's convenient because I had that disease, but I guess I don't anymore. So when should we have the wedding?" Chase was about to answer, but then Kutner came out of nowhere looking very upset.

"But 13 I wanted to marry you!" Thirteen frowned. She liked both Chase and Kutner, so she didn't know which one to pick. Then Chase spoke,

"Kutner you don't have to worry, remember that cult we joined?" Kutner nodded, "Well it's a polygamous cult so we can both marry her!" Thirteen clapped her hands happily,

"This is great! And highly illegal! Let's go find the leader of your scary human sacrificing cult and get hitched!" She took each of their hands and the three began walking towards the door when Kutner noticed something odd,

"Hey Thirteen your feet are bleeding"

"I know"

**A/N: YAY! Please review LOL**


End file.
